If You Are: Sir and Lady Binge-a-Lot 

Ask For: A Game of Thrones "The Houses of Westeros" Poster ($35)

When people think of a Vegas wedding, they generally picture glitzy casinos, Elvis impersonators, and maybe even a drive-thru wedding chapel. Although Sin City weddings can be delightfully, even refreshingly tacky, the Neon Museum offers a truly unique matrimonial experience with style that’s fit for a King (or at least someone dressed like him).

1. Argues in favor of the oft-ignored “Forest Fire” theme.

2. Keeps asking groom if he’s been circumcised.

Quick memo to anyone planning a wedding: YOU DON’T NEED A PHOTO BOOTH. Photo booths were fun when the whole idea of instant photography was a novelty. Remember when you were excited about Polaroids? Yeah, THAT’S when a photobooth would have been a cool wedding idea. But today, we all carry perfectly pocket-sized photo booths with us everywhere we go. Oh yeah, and they’re also phones, TVs, and portals to the internet too.

1. Parole officer, even if you do think of him as family.

2. Risqué 70s Cover Band, Sly and the Family Bone.

Getting cold feet on your wedding day is normal, but if you’re getting married at the Hôtel de Glace, it’s pretty much inevitable. North America’s only Ice Hotel is literally built each December in Quebec City for an opening date in early January, and exists for a three-month window before being brought down in April. But during that brief interlude, it’s a spellbinding wedding venue that’s guaranteed to be frozen in the memories of you and your guests.

1. Automatically turns everything into the right decision.

2. Well, if I don’t have a guardian angel guiding my every move, I don’t know who I’ve been talking to.

1. These past two hours have been great and I was just wondering…

2. Every time I think about you I think of my mom…you’re prettier than my mom but still the image is there.

Cake pops are like those little Chihuahuas that ladies carry around in their purses—cute, but ultimately useless and irritating. I know that weddings should have a certain degree of cuteness, but there IS such a thing as too cute. And a tiny piece of cake on a stick, bedazzled with sprinkles or decorated like a tiny bride? THAT is too cute. 

You know what a cake pop looks like? A lollipop. And you know who eats lollipops? Children.

Ahoy, matey! Have you found the swashbuckling captain to your pirate wench? The Will Turner to your Elizabeth Swan? Love the high seas? Well, your pirate fantasy can become a romantic reality when you tie the knot on the Black Raven Pirate Ship in St. Augustine, Florida.

Some people just don’t dance, okay? Leave them alone. I know you feel like everybody takes dance lessons to prepare for that first dance. But here’s the thing: nobody is a good enough teacher to make your fiancé look like he’s comfortable dancing.  I don’t care if he’s pretending to really, really be on board for this. Trust me. He doesn’t want to learn a dance.