Remember that scene in Love Actually when the wedding DJ only played The Bay City Rollers’ Greatest Hits? Laura Linney was MISERABLE, and your guests will be too if you play any of these “romantic” ditties.
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Sure, this song is smooth and sexy. But everybody will be wondering why you’re begging each other for commitment when you’ve only been married an hour. (FYI: Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries used this song for their first dance, and we know how that turned out.)
It’s mind-boggling how often this song winds up on the DJ’s playlist. “Tears in Heaven” is a beautiful song… about a child’s tragic death. This song should be reserved for women who are PMS-ing and need a good cry, the Clapton family, and THAT’S IT.
And while we’re talking Clapton…
You cannot dance to this song. Strike one. Strike two? Eric Clapton wrote it to woo his best friend’s wife—and it worked. That’s some good karma for your wedding day.
Everyone loves to dance and strut to this disco hit, ESPECIALLY your mother. Remind her that the song is about a woman gaining enough strength to kick her lying, cheating, bastard of a lover to the curb.
Pre-nuptial Agreement. Enough said.
They call it “The Stalker Song” for a reason. On the first listen, it sounds romantic. On the second, it’s downright creepy.
This song ceases to be fun once you lock eyes with your dad.
Is your wedding reception being held at a dive bar on karaoke night? Oh, it is? Then never mind, this song is perfect.
Another great song about a guy begging his girl not to leave. You guys got high hopes alright! (Exception: If the Blue Brothers are somehow playing your wedding, they can do their cover of this song.)
Just because the song has the word “love” in the title, doesn’t mean it’s an appropriate wedding tune. Examples: “Love in an Elevator” by Aerosmith, “Love Me Two Times” by the Doors, “Love Stinks” by the J. Giles band, “Only Love Can Break Your Heart” by Neil Young, “Stop! In the Name of Love” by the Supremes….the list goes on and on.