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put a zing on it

Let Hollywood Plan Your Wedding: How To Recreate the Best Weddings From Your Favorite Flicks

1. Elaine Robinson’s Wedding from The Graduate

Keys to pulling it off:

First off, make sure the door of the church is LOCKED during the ceremony.  That way, the guy who slept with your mother can only get into the church via a weird balcony.  He’ll be behind glass, so make sure he pounds EXTRA LOUD when he tries to get your attention. 

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The Graduate (1967) dir. Mike Nichols

Then, as you two escape, be sure to use a huge cross to lock everybody inside the church.

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2. Kermit and Miss Piggy’s wedding from Muppets Take Manhattan

Keys to pulling it off:

Trick that stupid frog into thinking you’re performing in a musical on Broadway.  He actually thinks those wedding vows are part of his lines! Serves him right for losing his memory and falling for a human woman.  

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Muppets Take Manhattan (1984) dir. Frank Oz

 

3. Peter and Juliet’s wedding in Love Actually

Keys to pulling it off:

First things first:  get yourself a wedding dress that looks like it is made out of wool and marabou feathers.  Two little strands of hair around the face will really annoy you, but definitely complete the look.

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Love Actually (2003) dir. Richard Curtis

Then pretend to be surprised when your new husband’s best friend organizes a full orchestra to pop out from the pews and play “All You Need Is Love.”  Hey, that guy singing, is that Seal? (It’s not.  But your mom thinks it is.) 

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That ugly hat won’t protect your hearing, Laura Linney.

4. Beetlejuice and Lydia Deetz’s attempted wedding in Beetlejuice

Keys to pulling it off:

Make sure your rotting, un-dead fiancé is wearing his best maroon, ruffled tuxedo.  It will really clash with the bright red dress he picked out for you, but that’s the point.  

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Beetlejuice (1988) dir. Tim Burton

Round out the well-wishers with some of those disintegrating ghosts from the attic.  Your parents will be there too, against their will, trapped by re-animated sculptures.  If anyone tries to say anything against the union (like calling out that you’re a child) your intended can magically zip anyone’s lip. Permanently. 

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5. Beatrix Kiddo’s wedding rehearsal from Kill Bill: Vol. II

(Note: This one works best if you actually want to kill the guy you’re marrying.)

Keys to pulling it off:

Barefoot and pregnant, rehearse walking down the aisle in a quaint, all-wooden chapel in the desert.  Surprise!  Your baby daddy is here!  Awkwardly pass him off to your fiancé and his family as a long last relative. 

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Kill Bill: Vol. II (2004) dir. Quentin Tarantino  

Then, once he gives you his blessing and leaves you to a life of domestic bliss, his assassins will shoot up the place, leaving everyone dead… but you.

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