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Bridalville Staff

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Once a couple has been labeled as “artsy,” they are pretty much doomed to a future of receiving watercolors and paper for every holiday and birthday for the rest of their coupledom.  They’re building a life together, NOT an elementary school art room.  Check out the items below for wedding gift ideas that are creative and unique—just like your favorite couple.

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1. Even the most scenic ditch

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Life can be tough for grooms-to-be. For months, many are forced to feign interest in flower design, seating arrangements, and other details for which they have no enthusiasm.  So when it’s finally their big day, how are they supposed to keep from feeling marginalized? 

Answer: the Groom’s Cake.

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Do lilies make you sneeze? Afraid you’ll prick your finger on a thorn? Have a feud going on with your local florist? Here are ten flower-free bouquets to keep your hands busy while you tie the knot.

1. Vintage Brooch Bouquet

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There’s a long-standing joke that people in the know (Wedding Planners, Wedding Singers, etc.) can determine how long a couple will stay together based on the song they choose for their first dance. (Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries picked Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together.” Is there ANY better example?)

We’ve compiled a list of ten favorite “first dance” songs and what each selection REALLY says about the bride and groom to be.

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Are you getting married during the most wonderful time of the year?

Then read our list (and check it twice) of ten tips for planning a perfect holiday wedding.

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1. Craigslist rabbi.

2. Hip reverend who only preaches through righteous guitar solos.

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Quiz question: What’s the one object that can be used as a drinking glass, a terrarium, a chandelier, a picture frame, a candle-holder, a toiletry bag, a name-card, and an adorable way to make a single serving of s’mores cake? If you guessed “mason jar,” you must be planning a wedding.

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If You Are: Young Talent

Ask For: A nice bottle of Jolie-Pitt & Perrin Château Miraval Rosé ($30)

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If You Are: A Garage Band

Ask For: A Vinyl Record Cupcake Stand ($38)

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If You Are: Entry Level

Ask For: A Deal With This Stamp ($10)

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Hers:

I was the down and out girl next door from the wrong side of the tracks, with a well-meaning but sad sack dad and a sainted mom who died of a horrible yet vague disease when I was five. By the time high school rolled around, I was a freaky geek – just another suburban casualty, shrouding her emotions and scoliosis stoop in gender-neutral black Goth clothes.

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If You Are: Short Order Cooks

Ask For: A Whirley Pop Original Popcorn Popper ($45)

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Hers:

When I first saw you, I was eating a plain rice cake. I was sitting in the park. I opted to sit on a bench because sometimes my feet fall asleep if I sit criss-cross on grass. I had just had quite the scare – my rice cake crumbled onto my new khaki jeans (a premium sale from Kohl’s), and I was in for quite a mess. Then, as fate will have it, you walked past me and I thought “there’s a person."

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Hers:

My love. The day has finally come. I made a list of things that I love about you and our relationship:

1. Our respect for boundaries: People always said “Just wait -- as soon as you get married, you’ll move from a cuddly queen bed to a spacious, don’t-touch-me-with-your-stanky-ass-feet king size bed.” Joke's on them! We already have a king size bed, and I haven’t seen the underbelly of your feet for nine years!

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If You Are: Sir and Lady Binge-a-Lot 

Ask For: A Game of Thrones "The Houses of Westeros" Poster ($35)

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When people think of a Vegas wedding, they generally picture glitzy casinos, Elvis impersonators, and maybe even a drive-thru wedding chapel. Although Sin City weddings can be delightfully, even refreshingly tacky, the Neon Museum offers a truly unique matrimonial experience with style that’s fit for a King (or at least someone dressed like him).

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1. Argues in favor of the oft-ignored “Forest Fire” theme.

2. Keeps asking groom if he’s been circumcised.

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Quick memo to anyone planning a wedding: YOU DON’T NEED A PHOTO BOOTH. Photo booths were fun when the whole idea of instant photography was a novelty. Remember when you were excited about Polaroids? Yeah, THAT’S when a photobooth would have been a cool wedding idea. But today, we all carry perfectly pocket-sized photo booths with us everywhere we go. Oh yeah, and they’re also phones, TVs, and portals to the internet too.

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1. Parole officer, even if you do think of him as family.

2. Risqué 70s Cover Band, Sly and the Family Bone.

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