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put a zing on it

7 Duties of the Millennial Best Man

So you've just been chosen to be best man at your friend's wedding. Congratulations! You're probably feeling proud, honored, and maybe a bit confused. Being a best man is like being Robin to the groom's Batman... or Samwise Gamgee to Frodo Baggins. But it's not all fighting crime and going on quests! As Uncle Ben told a young Spiderman:

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If you want to make sure your friend's wedding goes off without a hitch, here are 7 duties of the millennial best man:

 1. Keep your Phone Charged

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Whether you're his alarm clock on his wedding day, or his one phone call from jail after the bachelor party...you're going to need a phone that works.

2. Organize the Bachelor Party

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As best man, it's your duty to help organize a weekend of pure chaos. You're going to have to contact the other groomsmen, make reservations, and secure a fake ID for the groom's younger brother. When you're the best man, no task is too small... or too illegal.

3. Buy a Suit

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If going tux shopping with your bros doesn't get you pumped up, then maybe you don't deserve to be the best man. (And yes, we said BUY a suit. You're a man. You need your own suit.)

4. Facebook Clean Up

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Make sure the groom gets rid of any old profile pictures with his ex girlfriend... and any compromising photos from the bachelor party.

5. Taxi Service

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A wedding is a joyful, celebratory occasion. The happy couple is high on life and drunk in love. They're also just straight up drunk! A good best man should drive the newlyweds to their wedding night hotel after the reception. However, this means that you'll have to be sober. Maybe you should just call them an Uber instead.

6. Hold the Rings

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If the bride and groom can't find a cute toddler to carry the rings, you may be asked to hold onto those precious symbols of eternal love. DON'T PANIC. You just have to remember that you are an adult. Under any circumstances, do NOT try on the rings. Those things are like Chinese finger traps.

7. Roast While You Toast

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The most important best man duty is your speech. Everyone is expecting you to share some touching words about your buddy and his new bride. This is the perfect opportunity to share an embarrassing story or two about the groom, just as long as it doesn't involve drug use, armed robbery, or other women. Embarrassing text messages, baby pictures, and home videos are definitely all fair game.

If you successfully handle all of these duties, you're going to be the best best man of them all!

Photo Attributions:

Tumblr

Evasion Jailbreak

On Milwaukee

Wedding Bee

CelebBuzz

California Import Auto

Portland Psychotherapy Clinic

The Guardian

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