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put a zing on it

11 Wildly Inappropriate Wedding First Dances

The first dance is a dangerous thing. Many newlyweds use it to prove to the world that they’re a fun and original power couple with a sense of rhythm. While this sentiment is admirable, these elaborate dances aren’t always appropriate.

Here are the top 11 dances that’ll make your Nana cringe:

1. Oompa Loompa 

Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-dee, this first dance will give nightmares to the kiddies.

2. The Mosh

While a mosh might be a perfect first dance for the hardcore couple, fun Aunt Jane is sure to snap her neck trying to prove her youth. 

3. My Dance Bad

Pro tip: Don’t turn your first dance into a bad karaoke session featuring a song about how dirty your wife is in bed.

4. They Lift You Up

You just know this was a sweet idea on paper. Too bad the bride didn’t account for the groomsmen taking shots before hand. Or her poor balance. Or gravity.

5. The Carlton

This dance is great. Completely inappropriate for what’s supposed to be a sacred tradition, but great.

6. Pyrotechnics

Is this a wedding or a Michael Bay film?

7. Damsel in Distress

“Yes 911, I’d like to report a ninja attack at a wedding reception…oh never mind! The groom is just showing off his awkward Kung Fu.”

8. The Pole Dance

If you must pole dance at your wedding, at least make it sexy, unlike these goofballs.

9. Single Ladies

Reserving “Single Ladies” for your first dance not only sends mixed signals, but it also takes away the one joy for any bitter bridesmaids at the reception. What is the single sisterhood going to dance to now? “Anaconda”? Classy.

10. The Middle School Classic

The awkward slow dance made famous by every middle school prom. This dance is sure to raise suspicion that your wedding is either a shotgun wedding or a mail order bride situation. Maybe both!

So there you have it. We wish we could say definitively that these are the absolute worst, but we’re pretty sure this isn’t even the tip of the iceberg. What are the most inappropriate moves you’ve seen during first dances?


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