Hers:

When I first saw you, I was eating a plain rice cake. I was sitting in the park. I opted to sit on a bench because sometimes my feet fall asleep if I sit criss-cross on grass. I had just had quite the scare – my rice cake crumbled onto my new khaki jeans (a premium sale from Kohl’s), and I was in for quite a mess. Then, as fate will have it, you walked past me and I thought “there’s a person."

Hers:

My love. The day has finally come. I made a list of things that I love about you and our relationship:

1. Our respect for boundaries: People always said “Just wait -- as soon as you get married, you’ll move from a cuddly queen bed to a spacious, don’t-touch-me-with-your-stanky-ass-feet king size bed.” Joke's on them! We already have a king size bed, and I haven’t seen the underbelly of your feet for nine years!