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wedded list

Let’s NOT Drink to That: 9 Terrible Wedding Toasts

You've been asked to give a toast at the wedding? Congratulations! That's a fun responsibility! Hopefully you'll stay away from one of these cringe-worthy opening lines:

Toasts 1

Image Source: Toastmasters

1. "I'd like to raise a glass to my sister! Well, technically, she's not my sister. She's adopted. Surprise! Anyway ..."

2. "What a beautiful wedding! Can't wait to get invited to the next one!"

Toasts 2

Image Source: Static

3. "Bad news about the doves: they immediately flew over the parking lot. It's ... messy."

Toasts 3

Image Source: Sacred Affairs

4. "Welcome to the family, sister-wife!"

Toasts 4

Image Source: Wikipedia

5. "Not many people know that Brad's previous wives, Melanie and Suzanne, both died in freak boating accidents on their wedding night. On that note, enjoy your midnight cruise!"

Toasts 5

Image Source: Static

6. "THE CHICKEN IS PEOPLE. DON'T EAT THE CHICKEN! IT'S CHEAPLE!"

Toasts 6

Image Source: Static

7. "I'm looking for the owner of the dark blue Honda Civic? Your lights are on. Also, a tree fell on your car. Also, I hit the tree that fell on your car. Can someone call me an Uber? I am way too stoned to be driving!"

8. "Boy, this wedding sure was nice! Probably cost a pretty penny! Too bad for you ... I'M AN AUDITOR WITH THE IRS AND THIS IS A RAAAAID!"

Toasts 7

Image Source: http://backofthebook.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/mister-moneybags.jpg

9. "Congrats, guys! Hope you're still open to the idea of swinging!"

Toasts 8

Image Source: HTML Giant

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