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put a zing on it

9 Kinds of Weddings You DON’T Want to Crash

Ever since that Wedding Crashers movie came out, we’ve all thought about crashing a wedding. While it may seem like an easy way to score access to free booze and desperate singles, if you crash the wrong kind of wedding, it’s more like a trip to hell.

Here are 9 kinds of weddings that you definitely don’t need to pretend to be a Plus One at:

1. Vegan Weddings

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Image Source: Pinimg

Rule number one of crashing any wedding is to make sure you know the food and the open bar situation. With vegan weddings you lose out on both scenarios. The food will be dairy/egg/cruelty free...and it will certainly taste like nothing. That “open bar” will probably only be serving smoothies and wheat grass shots. The fact that all that healthy stuff is free does NOT make it taste any better.

2. Cosplay Weddings

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Image Source: Fashionably Geek

Fandoms are a tricky thing to infiltrate. Whether it’s Comic Con or a Dr. Who themed wedding, fans know their facts inside and out. Don’t think you can just pick up a twig, draw a lightning bolt on your head and call yourself a wizard. If you aren’t ready to do the extensive research it takes to attend this wedding, you’d be better off going to the bar with the rest of the Muggles.

3. Pet Weddings

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Image Source: She Knows

Now we can all agree that pet weddings are ADORABLE, but the pet community is a close-knit group that schedules regular play dates with their animals. If you aren’t a member of this friend group, you will stick out like a sore thumb. Besides, the party games at this thing are going to consist of “fetch” and… that’s it.

4. Beach Weddings

Image Source: YouTube

Beaches are often a traditional choice for destination weddings. But if you happen to see a couple getting married on the shore...keep walking. Beach weddings are disasters. Wind and unexpected rainstorms will ruin any chance of fun. How good does the couple’s cocktail taste with all that sand in it?

5. Gypsy Weddings

Image Source: YouTube

While Gypsy Weddings aren’t hard to crash, you might want to skip out on this over-the-top celebration. These lavish events often result in rowdy riots, a crying teenage bride and an interview with a camera crew. If you want to avoid a visit to the ER and a prime time spot on TLC, we suggest you scope out another affair.

6. Nature Weddings

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Image Source: Pinimg

If you have to pull out a map and put on a pair of hiking boots to get to the ceremony, it’s a HARD PASS. Do you really want to go to a wedding where the only food consists of trail mix, energy bars, and jugs of water? How are you supposed to pick up a groomsmen when you are covered in sweat, dirt, and mosquito bites? Just stay at home and make yourself a S’more in your microwave.

7. WASP Weddings

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Image Source: GGpht

These Mayflower mavens throw a mean mixer and will not let anything ruin their special day, even if it means calling in a favor from their old sorority sister who now works in the State Department. If they suspect that you’re a trespasser—it’s over. If you risk crashing this affair, be prepared to have a well researched back story that includes vague references to the family compound and the bride’s junior cotillion. You better invest in some serious Ralph Lauren, or skip out.

8. Biker Weddings

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Image Source: Budget Weddings

When we say “biker wedding” we don’t mean your uncle who might own a Harley Davidson. A biker wedding is a hardcore affair perhaps with a former convict or two that have Sons of Anarchy-esque anecdotes. Though probably classier than a Gypsy Wedding, a biker wedding will likely end in a brawl of some kind. If you know nothing about motorcycles, just avoid this wild wedding.

9. A cappella Weddings

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Image Source: Acappella News

No one wants an a cappella group to be the band at ANY wedding. They might do an interesting medley of Mariah Carey chart toppers, but after a few minutes, it gets old pretty fast. Save you sanity and skip this musical marriage.

If you’re going to crash a wedding, make sure you’ve done your research. Your blatant disregard for “invite only” events should be rewarded with free food, alcohol, and unlimited access to the single members of the bridal party—not a booze-free evening of torture!


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